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By Sam Vigil

First things First

Contending with the complexities of Parental Alienation is frustrating. To help reduce frustration you need to acquire the tools and prepare yourself to combat this form of emotional abuse. But, before you get started on increasing the chances of maintaining a relationship with your children there is one thing you must understand. Which is the only thing you have control of are the choices you make. Getting a respectable judgment on a parenting plan will depend greatly on making beat choices that will influence the outcome you seek.

This takes being honest with yourself and the question you need to ask yourself before you pursue a parenting plan, ” What is your true motive for seeking a plan?”

Seeking custody to retaliate against your ex for leaving and keeping the children away from you is a normal impulse, but those are wrong reasons to go to court. Getting even only adds fuel to the fire; perpetuating a vicious cycle of conflict where no one wins. The victory you feel for avenging your anger will only be temporary.

The right reason for seeking involvement with your children is to fulfill your responsibility of being a parent. If your purpose is to even the score; stop, do not read any further. You are doing it for the wrong reason. But, if you are in it to help your children’s wellbeing continue on, They deserve to have the love of a responsible parent.

Knowledge is Power

Understanding Parental Alienation, the family laws of your case, and yourself is where you will gain power. This knowledge will give you the wisdom of where to apply your energy to optimize good results.

A resource I found extremely helpful in understanding the nut and bolts of Parental Alienation is Amy J. L. Baker’s book “Adult Children of Parental Alienation; Breaking the Ties that Bind.” She explains what it is, how it’s implemented, and gives the in-depth makeup of whom engages in alienating their children from the target parent.

Identifying the tactics and strategies enables you to respond to the provocations from your ex in a proactive way. This can reduce the negative effects it may have on the parent-child relationship. You will also be better equipped to educate court officers and your attorney to the alienation that is occurring which is hindering you from having a real relationship with your children.

Along with identifying the strategies look from your ex’s prospective to gain an understanding why she is alienating you. Is it because of a narcissistic personality, insecurity, pain, or a combination of them? Understanding the reason(s) can give you a way to moderate the conflict.

You also need to identify the triggers that cause you to react negatively. This will keep you from falling into the trap of getting even, which will take focus away from having involvement with your children.

The next thing to do is find an attorney in family law who specializes in high conflict custody cases with a good track record and reputation.

As you become educated with Parental Alienation, family law, and work with an attorney tend to your wellbeing. Get proper rest, eat a healthy diet, and do activities you enjoy. This will rejuvenate you and keep you from bogging down. Be either proactive or reactive the choice is yours.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com Be a Proactive Parent Against Parental Alienation

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